Need help right now?

I have struggled with mental health issues my whole life. I Grew up with divorced parents, I was given up by my biological mother and am a step-mother. I have faced many challenges in my 37 years of life. Some more difficult than others, but each bearing a weight that , at times , was too difficult to carry. In those times where the weight was too heavy , my thoughts would turn dark. I would think about how much easier death would be, how I wouldn’t be missed but the most prominent thought I had was, “I’m tired of life and all of it’s hardships, I want to be gone because what is the point in living.” But, those thoughts, feelings, and time, do not last just as those challenges don’t last. That is why I am still here. Bad moments, bad moods , all end eventually. The beauty of life and experiences are continuous, I want to keep experiencing the happy moments and challenges even if i never understand the point of those challenges. I want to live my life for those that don’t get to anymore.